Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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