Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
