the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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