i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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