I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
