Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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