I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I licked your asshole in confidence.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
