Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
