that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
