As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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