remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
