I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
