i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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