Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
