We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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