This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
