There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
