I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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