I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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