my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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