So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
