i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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