At least make sure they are 18
Why
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
