I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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