I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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