Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
