So drunk its hurt
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
