you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
