Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
