Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
