i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
