I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
