i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he was CRYING into my vagina
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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