She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
