Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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