Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
PS: I just woke up from my shower
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
