Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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