I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
