Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
