My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
