Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
