O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
