also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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