the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
