He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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