turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
