in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
