you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
