i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
