so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
