this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
