some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
