butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
