bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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