Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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