I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
