just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
