when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
