U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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