Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just found puke in my bra..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
