I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
